Aug 2, 2021
"How can I determine whether it's scrupulosity or if I am in denial again? A few years ago, I was diagnosed with scrupulosity. During my upbringing, my understanding of religion became very strict, and I acquired the perception that I needed to be perfect in order to be worthy and loved in the sight of God. I was led to believe that if I felt certain feelings that I was sinning. These feelings of worthlessness were coped with sexual misbehaviors. Throughout my youth, I began be very obsessive about confessing my sins to my church leaders. I literally saw repentance as confession, and yet I couldn't figure out why I still felt unworthy no matter how much I would confess, so I assumed I wasn't specific enough, that I didn't cover enough, and that I never did enough to be forgiven by God. My addiction progressed into my marriage as well as my obsessive confessions but to my wife, yet there were obvious patterns of denial as well. I struggle to know the difference within me."